So I was hoping to write something a bit different but everything I type seems to turn into “All work and no play make Jack scream holy shit get me out of this nightmare!” So until I can work out my obvious anger and cabin fever issues, here is another set of fun activities you can use as we continue to try and not get killed by seeing our friends and family.
- Setup a family backyard camp out. Drug your families hot chocolate and return to the house for 12 hours of blissful silence and Netflix
- Identify you most hated neighbor and burn them in efigy on your front lawn
- Air-fry all the insects that you have caught invading your house and sell them on eBay as a cutting edge Covid treatment
- Get your wife to leave you alone by telling her “We should do the 30 day quarantine sex challenge!” Bask in the glory of her not being in the same room with you for 60 days.
- Turn your shed into a hot yoga studio, then lock yourself inside and eat pudding
- Sew a quilt out of all your empty Doritos bags
- Record an audio book reading of the Hobbit in Pig Latin
- express your feelings in a flip book made of macaroni art
- Flip a coin…heads you send a threatening letter to Mark Zuckerberg, tails you become a Wiccan Priest
- finally dedicate the necessary time to fully understand what the hell “On Fleek” actually means
- do the floss while you kids try to fling jello into your mouth
- Eat something out of the garbage and journal how it made you feel
- put a wig on a soccer ball and have a debate about which is the best star wars movie. Don’t quit until it admits Empire is the best.
- spend an entire day wearing a tool-belt while shaking your head at all the broken things you will never spend the time fixing.
- Continue to tell myself that its OK to drink Grapefruit White Claw for breakfast because Grapefruit is “breakfasty”
- dedicate 1 hour a day to training your Rhoomba to smite your enemies and bring you beer
- Sign up for various OCD support groups and respond “sounds like cancer” to all questions people submit
- Hammer McDonald’s with emails about bringing back those awesome Styrofoam containers, especially the chicken nugget one that had that cool sauce cup build in.
- Also start media blitz for the Mayor McCheese 2020 Presidential campaign
- create home made hand sanitizer out of fireball whiskey and tears
- Scream “where are your masks, assholes!” at stock footage of people having fun in bars and restaurants with their friends while standing right next to each other.
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