The other day I was sifting through some sports stuff when I came across news of a new throwback style poster for Russell Wilson so I had to check it out. It was fantastically terrible.
This poster is a throwback to a glorious time in the late 80’s and early 90’s where football posters were all about corny themes and bad puns. This one certainly did not disappoint. Copious amounts of side man boob, oddly staged picture with stupid backdrop, and of course, corny pun to tie it all together. So with football season fast approaching, I thought I would get us all fired up by taking a walk down memory lane to relive some of the classics of yesteryear that should never be forgotten.
This is the original armed and dangerous poster featuring Dan Marino. Pretty basic but it does bring that “douche-bag at your high school that knocked books out of your hands” vibe with the football jersey tucked into Zubaz pants.
This poster is supremely funny because our buddy Brian “The Boz” Bosworth turned out to be a total bust of a football player. He probably would have been better off staying in the Land of Boz and banging that obvious stripper while being cheered on by the Bozkins. The statement “Bosworth’s movie career was far more successful than his football one” is both hilarious and true, which makes this poster all the more enjoyable.
If you aren’t familiar with the show, this is stupid. If you are, its even more stupid.
Rumor has it this poster started out with a basic soldier theme until LT thought the guy on the ground stole his bag of blow, and then this happened.
Our buddy Don managed to parlay about 8 quality games at QB for the Packers into this poster. I guess you can’t blame Green Bay for it as this was pre-Favre and they were terrible. This photo shoot turned out to be huge for him since those gloves set him up nicely for a post football career as a children’s party magician/prom date stand-in.
Steroids are a hell of a drug and this dude loved them. I really like the ever famous “Q-Back” who is lying dead in the doorway and the bag of $0.99 sacked quarterbacks.
“So his nickname is the Nigerian Nightmare…hhmmmm…lets put some scared football guys in a bed, give him a dirty hat, and go with a Freddy Krueger thing. Everyone loves that movie.” The movie yes, the poster…no. You can tell by the look on his face he knew how shitty this would be even before they printed it. Is he wearing long shorts or really tiny pants?
I never thought you could capture an 8 year old’s slumber party in poster form but they sure proved me wrong. Also, who the fuck are these guys?
Playing off the Clint Eastwood army movie of the same name, we get the full compliment of “Super Stars” from the Buffalo Bills that lost 4 straight Super Bowls. You would think after two of the losses someone would be smart enough to give the tank a helmet and a jersey.
I just really enjoyed the back of that guys lab coat.
Football poster or Trump native american outreach ploy…you make the call.
Ahh, Jim McMahon as the Road Warrior. He even has a little bear with him instead of a dog, how cute. This poster once again proves that no matter how mediocre you are at quarterbacking, if you your team wins a Super Bowl people will think you are really good. Weird that he has such a close sunglasses to crossbow ammo ratio on his vest, don’t see how much that could help you out on “The Grid”
They really could have put anything they wanted on this poster, Dexter Manley admitted at the end of his career that he couldn’t read. Great job education system, your grade is an F for fucked up.
Its not football but seriously, WTF??????
I hope you enjoyed our walk down memory lane. Time to make sure those honey-do lists are done so you can sit in peace on Sundays and watch some of the action. We all know if you don’t, she will come a-knockin’ right in the middle of the most important play of the game, and nobody wants that to happen.
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The Indian one is so not PC! There would be riots if that poster was released today. I miss the 80s….when people weren’t so uptight.