Another Fun Month in Quarantine
So I was hoping to write something a bit different but everything I type seems to turn…
So I was hoping to write something a bit different but everything I type seems to turn…
So quarantine is a real drag and it can be difficult to get through your day without…
Getting old is gross. There’s no way around it. I don’t remember signing up for this shit…
I hate going places. I mean, I purposely setup my house so I never need to leave. …
My wife and I have been married for 10, 11, or possibly 12 years. I’m honestly not…
So Amazon, I hear you are looking for a new location for a second headquarters. I see…
For as long as I remember coins have only really been useful to European countries, old men…
It appears that famous men in this country have a serious problem keeping their pants on in…
I love the work break-room. It has free coffee, a fridge, and a sink I am not…
As I once again stand here in the bathroom plunger in hand, I must face the reality…
It’s time we all stopped lying to ourselves. Lugging yourself out of bed, only to spend the…
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As the calendar flips over to spring and summer we are greeted by sunshine, beaches, BBQs, and…
Based on the numerous kidnapping movies and TV shows I have seen, it is now clear to…
Snack time is easily the happiest time in my house, especially when my wife isn’t there. My…
“If you take care of your body, it will take care of you.” – Someone annoying and in much…
Webster’s defines a rut as “An uninspired routine or pattern of behavior that one continues unthinkingly or because…
Recently Kellyanne Conway, Donald Trump interview mouthpiece and Matel’s model for their new “Propaganda Barbie” doll, sat…
Christmas time is here and I couldn’t be happier. I love everything about it. The lights, the…
Now that the election has been completed and all the so called “news” organizations have done their…
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I have always had a soft spot in my heart for Arby’s. It was always the Lisa Simpson…
So as I was reading Facebook today I came across some important and potentially life changing information…
Hi Grocery store checkout guy. I see you noticed my Tucks Pads. It makes me sad that…
I have been accepted as a contributing writer for Humoroutcasts.com. I will still be posting here but…
The other day I was sifting through some sports stuff when I came across news of a…
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As reported here by the fine research team at B.A.R.F, Burger King had been really stepping up…
As a man at a sporting event, there is nothing more annoying than having to go to…
I have never really been a joiner of groups. I guess the only one I really joined…
I recently found some pretty hardcore items Burger King was unleashing on the world but a brand…
Things have been quiet around the B.A.R.F offices as we have been patiently awaiting some big 2016…
If you want to see a family with all their shit together, just make sure you give…
Dear International Astronomical Union (IAU), It has come to my attention that the Kepler Space Telescope has…
I recently watched an episode of Saturday Night Live where they ran a fake commercial for a new…
If you have a child ages 3-7, chances are you have spent many a morning or afternoon…
As my son has slowly gotten older, I have noticed a new trend during his time watching…
As a huge Star Wars fan, I have made it a point to introduce my son to…
Chaos would probably be the best word to describe parenting a 5 year old boy. Getting out…
Another year has passed and has been another banner year in weird, over the top food items….
Dear NASA, I noticed via social media that you are now opening up your recruitment process for…
The new Star Wars movie is fast approaching and with each new clip and trailer, my hard…
Recently we reached a magical day in the history of man. A day like no other. October…
So recently I joined the ever growing group of idiots who somehow decided that doing a body…
This Ashley Madison hack has really brought me some solid entertainment and sweet, sweet, schadenfreude over the…
So I headed off to my annual visit to the ESRI Conference here in San Diego. ESRI…
The Huffington Post has gotten more and more irritating with each passing week. It’s becoming the meat…
I have never really been a big fan of going to the grocery store. The horrible parking…
In advance of the B.A.R.F San Diego County Fair extravaganza, my friend Patrick sent me some information…
There was some exciting news last week when I saw this headline: Chimp chefs?! I immediately…
I recently took a cross country flight with my family, consisting a wife who can’t stand to…
Recently I watched the reboot of Robocop and it wasn’t very good. There was really nothing special…
As a society I feel we have put up with tons of bullshit from hipsters. Their constant…
During my time working for B.A.R.F (Bureau for the Analysis of Ridiculous Foodstuffs), I have learned many…
Its been a tough couple weeks in the Beardface household as we are preparing to put our…
I was at the grocery store near my work picking up a few things for lunch. I…
So the wife and I sat down and watched the Pilot of CSI: Cyber, the latest in…
The other day I was driving around our neighborhood with my wife and we began our normal…
It’s here once again…Valentine’s day. Outside of Arbor day, it is easily the dumbest holiday of the…
So it has come to my attention that KFC is out with yet another food item that…
Super bowl is approaching this Sunday, which means there will be super bowl parties galore. Over the…
2014 was an exciting year for over the top fast food. Since we were founded late in…
As I awoke on January 1st, I felt a little spring in my step. The Year was…
I recently finished my Christmas shopping, which has become much easier since I joined the Unified Church…
Christmas is by far my favorite holiday. Growing up we were one of those Christmas families that…
Recently the sports world was shook up a bit by the new contact signed by Miami Marlins…
Over the past several years I have made a hobby out of observing, chronicling, and mocking random…
The other Sunday my wife took my son over to grandma’s house. This was a fantastic turn…
Everybody has one. I am talking assholes and opinions. There is no way around it. It is…
When I was a boy (I know, I can almost hear the collective groans at that statement…
I have always been a big baseball fan. Some of my fondest early childhood memories are going…
After much thought of doing it, I decided to turn on the Netflix and check the stream…
I was in Starbucks the other day. It was a rare occurrence, I can’t stand the place. …
4 years have passed and once again, the country is crazy for soccer. The World Cup has…
Been away for a bit due to work and life but I am back with some new…
You know what’s odd…you don’t?…good, I will tell you… as an adult you spend most of your time…
If you are like me, you spend more time flipping through the Netflix streaming menus than actually…
There is a dark cloud hanging over my week. You have all seen it. It is Throw…
I was at SeaWorld with my family and yes I have seen Blackfish but my son likes…
In a desperate attempt to drum up any kind of publicity for himself, Nick Canon will be…
I don’t use Facebook much anymore, but that was not always the case. Facebook was my first…
There will be some content here as soon as I get this theme business worked out. Update:…